Happy Chinese New Year to anyone who celebrates it.  It is a time for change.  To bring more luck into your life.  I realized more how superstitious Chinese people are   We have to cut our hair to take away the bad luck.  We need to clean the house to sweep away the bad luck.  Kind of like, "Out with the old and in with the new."  Well, it is time for me to take out the negative people in my life (like a staff person I have that is sucking the life out of me), and it is time for me to not be the "nice person." 
        Each year I slowly change to become a better person (I hope).  But sometimes when I change and friends and family don't change with me, I lose people.  It seems the more assertive I become, the more people I lose.  But I realize those people that I lose, just don't really care for me.  They use me and they are not used to me saying "no" to them.  Those are the kind of people I do not want in my life anyways.  I have always done so much for people and I realize that I get stepped on a lot.  This year is time for me to be selfish   I may shock some people, but I really need "me" time.  I was listening to a song called "Dead and Gone," and it really described me.  One part of the lyrics stated, "The old me is dead and gone."  I think I like the new me and it is time to say good-bye to the old me.  I have learned many lessons along the way and I know some things about me people hate and get annoyed with, so I know I need to change that quality if I feel it betters me.  There are certain aspects of my personality I will never give up no matter how it annoys people, and some parts I am willing to change.  All in all, I know some people are looking out for me and are honest with me to make me a better person, like my husband.  I may not like what he says at times, but I know I need to hear it.  We both learn and grow together.  If we did not, then the marriage would not last without some type of compromise.  That is one of the things that took me time to understand.  I always gave and gave and never learned to compromise in the sense where it helped two people instead of one.  I never cared for myself.  Other people always came first, and this is where it stops.  Slowly I am understanding me and liking myself in my own skin.  It took time for me to get used to some people hating the new me, but I realize not everyone needs to like you.  So why try to please everyone?  Because no matter how hard you try to please certain people, it is never good enough.  Just please yourself and the ones you love and are close to (to a certain degree of course)
        I hope the new year brings everyone luck, love, wealth, health, peace, and happiness.  Remember to clean your souls and your closet.  It is the year of the Ox, where we need to finish what we started.  We will finally finish all our projects.  This will be a very hard working year.  I feel this is the year I will start doing what I always wanted to do.  Wish me luck

Hello everyone!
      It has been awhile again.  I only seem to remember to blog when something happens.  Bad huh?  It was nice to hear old friend comments on my other stuff.  I will TRY my best to keep up..heheh
      So my topic for today is: "Happily married and dreaming of divorce."
      So I heard this article on my fave radio show (will have to figure out what mag wrote it).  I would love to read about it.  I heard many comments about it and of course there is always 2 side to the story.  I heard from friends that they do not want to marry because they feel it would change them.  Marriage is all about compromise and if you are not ready to do so, then yes, you will have to change yourself and it would not make you happy.  With anything, to make yourself get along with people, you have to compromise.  If you are unwilling to do so, then you cannot live with anyone, right? 
       In this article, the woman who wrote said she is "steadily" happy with her husband, but some quirks of his bothered her.  The longer she lived with him, the unhappier she became with his quirks.  She notice it happened to all women mid way through their marriage in which she called "mid wife" (and not the kind of nurse that helps with birth ).  She feels after 15 years of marriage, people get bored and then afraid to divorce and so become unhappy but can't leave, especially when children are involved.  It seems most women encounter this when they seem to have a plan with their life.  They feel they need to get married to be happy and have children and follow society, so when their plan falls through, they are unhappy.  They feel the pressures, so they choose someone for the wrong reasons, as some would call "settling," even though settling is not a bad thing as my friend and I discussed.  It may not be the best choice and so the compromise too much and once the woman realizes this, becomes unhappy.  Yes, nothing is wrong in the marriage, but yet she is still "dreaming of divorce."  It is kind of choosing the lesser of 2 evils.  If you think about, divorce is a lot of work as well.  I mean marriage is a lot of work.  You have to constantly change with each other.  Grow and adopt.  If you cannot do that, then yes, you will be unhappy. 
       Some will say why marry then because being single will be less work.  That is true.  It really depends if you want to be alone for the rest of your life.  My fave quote from a movie was, "A partner is your witness in life."  You feel you lived when someone has seen it with you.  Nobody can do that but your spouse (well, you can argue if you live with someone, they can do it too).  It just is a different feeling.  You go through ups and downs and it feels so good to come out of those downs   So marriage is not for everyone.  It really depends on the person and marriage is not for the "faint at heart."  Being married for only a short time does not make me an expert, but i can tell you it is not easy, but in the end I am happy.  There are unhappy moments like today, but we get through it.  Who doesn't fight/argue?  We fight with our family and friends but once you make up, that is when you know they mean something to you.  Only the ones you love you can keep trucking through the good and the bad times.
      I do have to say, I was so mad today, I really liked this song:
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Artist: Beyonce Knowles Album: Unknown Title: If I Were a Boy

[Verse]
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

[Verse]
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

[Bridge]
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

[Chorus 2]
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

       If only boys knew how women feel, then there would be no arguments   Guys are just so insensitive sometimes that it can get annoying.  But there will always be "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."  We cannot always figure each other out, but we can try to understand and just go with it right?  I just don't like being taken for granted.  That is all I have to say....good night...until next time

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